Thinking Activity 4.5

1. Think of an experience that has shaped your life. Write an essay describing the experience and the ways it changed your life and how you perceive the world.

The early experience that has shaped my life was the death of my father. He died from a car accident when I was 13 years old. My father was a tyrant. In my memory, I had never seen the intimate relationship between my father and my mother. My father rent a farm in the rural area of Hong Kong, my mother and all my seven sibling were working hard in the farm. We were dictated to wake up in the early morning at 1:00 am to cut the vegetables and sell them fresh at 4:00 am in the market. No matter it was thunderstorm or above 40 degree temperature, we all needed to stay in the farm until the work done.

My father liked to gamble. He always stayed in the grocery and play card with the neighbors while my mother and we were working hard in the farm. My first three elder sisters attended school less than five year, just enough to know how to write and read and they were forced to leave the elemetry school by the tyrant. I hated my father since I was very young. He bit everyone in my family including my mother. He made me realized that "Men are unreliable, Women must be independent". At the end of his life, he had an affair with a young lady, younger than my elder sister. The lady lived in the mainland China and my father took all our family saving away for that lady. He broke the heart of my mother, an conservative woman. He made me believed in God and Swear would came true. He swore that if he betrayed my mother, he would die by an accident and wouldn't allow us to see him again……right after he swore, he was killed by a car accident on the way to meet that lady in mainland China. He told everybody that he disagreed with the cremation and we were unable to move his body back to Hong Kong, eventually we buried him in his mother hometown.

2. After writing, analyze your experience by answering the following questions:

a). What were your initial perceptions of the situation? As you began the experience, you brought into the situation certain perceptions about the experience and the people involved.

The situation happened when I was very young, I don't remember the exact initial perceptions at that time but I am sure that I hated and scared of my father because we never argued with him. Everytime when we heard his voice, my sisters and my bothers were all being alert and stopped any entertainment that we were playing immediately.

b). What previous experiences had you undergone? Identify some of the influences that helped to shape these perceptions. Describe the actions that you either took or thought about taking.

As I said, I undergone a relatively tough childhood experience. The death and the swear of my father still maintains a clear picture in my mind. I have learned that don't swear anything if I am unable to keep that promise. "Being honest" becomes my motto. Even though I have no religion, I strongly believe that I will be punished from God if I don't keep my promise. This doctrine keeps in my mind and I still practicing it everyday. For instance, if I promise to my patients, especially the confused patients that I will be back in few minutes, I must be back to them on time, otherwise, they will give me a hard time or punishment and keep pressing the call bell or screaming in the room. However, they stay calm and more cooperative if I follow what I swear to do for them.

c). As you became involved in the situation, what experiences in the situation influenced you to question or doubt your initial perceptions?

After I found that my father was unreliable and betrayal, I had questioned myself that "was it all men are the same?", "were they supposed to be the boss of the family all the time?", many many kinds of question about men and women appeared in the mind.

d). In what new ways did you view the situation that would better explain what was taking place? Identify the revised perceptions that you began to form about the experience.

After years of experience of my life, the hate of my father subsided. I understand that most of the men either think about affair or take it in action when they are approaching the time of "menopause" or "changing of their body". I remember one of the articles that I have seen state that men prone to look for a younger sex partner at their age of 40-50 because their spouse or original sex partner are getting old and unable to satisfy their need. In addition, men at that age also experience some change of their body, they might not be able to keep their erection as long as used to be. In order to regain the ability, they tend to look for the new stimulation to help them. So, even though I still angry with his brutal to my mother and my family, I help him to confess the cause of his betrayal; and I have to say thank you to him that he makes me function independently.


About kennis

Gerontological/Adult Nurse Practitioner
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One Response to Thinking Activity 4.5

  1. professorm 說道:


    First, I want to thank you for your honesty and openness. You’ve been clear and complete in your detailed description of a life changing incident. Most important, you’ve used the assignment to reflect upon your perceptions and the affect of these upon your life. In this sense, you have demonstrated understanding of this part of the course.

    Kennis, you are an exceptional student, and for this reason I would like you to earn your ten points in participation by contributing to class discussion this week and next. I will ask you to comment on certain parts of Chapters 4 & 5. Of course, you may wish to simply raise your hand. But I would like you to know that I will depend upon you to offer observations and questions.

    Again, your work is a pleasure to read.

    Evaluation: 4+


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